Inside Peaches

Fresh fruit (not the staff, please!) salad
- Menu item at Scallywags, Den Haag

The day started off lazy. South Asian lovely, aka sal, let me sleep in until eleven, fed me a big feed and then took me into town. Den Haag is a beautiful city of cobble stoned streets, canals, open tree filled squares and plenty of cyclists and trams to dodge. We shopped, sauntered, purchased me a SIM card, savoured for cream tea and basically made a relaxing day of it.

At one point we stopped in what can best described as a pharmacy without the pharmaceuticals, seeking hair product. After awhile, sal led me to an array of vibrators on display in the window. She had loads of questions.

"Rachel, what does this one do? Why is there a rabbit there?"
"Oh, that bit goes ... while that other piece slips in ... "
"Would this really fit on any vibrating toothbrush?"

Now that question made me pause. I stopped and looked at the small red silicon brush visible in the package's window and the diagram on how to screw it onto any electronic tooth brush. Made in Canada? I pursed my lips. Could it be that the lovely undergrad I had been fortunate enough to encounter four years ago had quit her fine arts degree to mass produce the, um, modified vibrating toothbrush she had so happily demoed to me at the time? Guess I'll never know for sure.

We left the store empty handed, returned to Sal's large flat and the 24/7 porn channel just in time for Inside Peaches: Hot stories written for Peaches by Peaches' female fans. Sal began to question me as the episode's story unfolded and I began to question a few things myself.

"Is this really how lesbians have sex?"
"Some might. Yeah, it seems fairly accurate. Their nails are a bit long and I'd be moving in closer."
"What's she doing now?"
I explained. "But, I'd probably put my fingers the other way."
"Really?"
"Yeah."

There was a long pause while I considered how uncomfortable I was watching pseudo-lesbian porn with a close platonic pal. Our hands touched in the popcorn bowl.

"Ya know what, I'm going to have a shower and get some sleep."
"Would you like some company?"

A really awkward pause followed. Finally, I broke it.
"No thanks. It has been a fun day. I'll see you tomorrow."

I slipped off, had a shower and quietly read He's Just Not That Into You in the spare room. It's actually quite a useful book.

Rachel *** (dodging action)

p.s. I had my eyebrows done while we were out shopping. I'll upload a decent shot of me to my facebook profile for dykoon.

p.p.s. To be honest, I was a bit shy above as I didn't want sal to see the symetrically placed bite breath , bite breath bruises tracing the insides of my thighs. (I don't tell you everything).