Note to self ...

Dear Rachel,

While at your day job, please refrain from printing rough drafts of your erotica on the networked printer. Though few know the connection between yourself and your pseudonym, you happen to be the most visibly queer woman in the office.

Thanks!
Rachel

Forever distractedly multitasking, I inadvertently sent a draft of some smut I am working on to the "far away" printer at the opposite end of my floor. Unfortunately, I only realised what I had done when I went to pick up my print job at the closer printer.

Shock horror, when a flustered I returned to my office to find the "draft" on my chair. A wee note attached to it read, "This printed between two copies of my report. Lucky me :)"

May the ground open up and swallow me whole.
Rachel

hmm...

Not sure how this one sits with me but beautiful's ex just called me to reschedule our blind date. Her excuse was good but ... well, it sounded a bit scripted. Anyway, we are on for next Saturday instead.

Rachel ** (wondering)

Promises Sweet Promises ...

Beautiful has delivered! This Saturday I am to meet beautiful's monogamy inclined ex for a stroll on the mountain and some hot chocolate at the look out. I am actually quite impressed that beautiful was able to coordinate this date. I don't know if I could be so ... open at arranging blind dates for my exes. Maybe she truely just wants us to have a good time.

I'm a bit nervous excited. A blind date! tee hee
Rachel.

Best Lesbian Erotica (BLE)

Hello my little friends,

As you know, I like to write smut. However, I certainly like to read it, too. Especially well written, "wow, who would have thought of doing that?" stories. Please submit your naughty stories. Please, please, please. Then let me know where, when and, I suppose, whom. Plus, depending on where it gets published, you may make some cold hard cash.

Your smut for "Best Lesbian Erotica Anthology" is due April 1, 2008. For more details see the cleis press submissions page

Other calls for queer erotic submissions may be found at www.queerwriters.com

Happy tapping :)
Rachel (*** writing furiously and doing her best to work out the kinks ;)

Shut ins

It snowed Saturday. It snowed a lot Saturday. So much so that I cursed the nostalgic architect who had incorporated a winding outdoor metal staircase to the entrance of my second floor condo. I guess as I was too busy rediscovering said stairwell, the bottom five steps were lost in snow, I didn't hear my phone ring. Then again, maybe that's good. I don't want little miss everywhere to think that I am at her beck and call whenever she has a lay over in Montreal. The message:

"Hey there, it's me. I'm at the Opus wondering if you would like to pop round for an Oban or two? I have one here right now just sitting with the rocks on the side waiting for a drop of water to open it up. Text me."

The response a decent two hours later ...
Rachel *****
PS I know I'm weak

Tempted, NOT!

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you
-- George Michael, Careless Whisper

Argh! Why did I foolishly stray from Faggity Ass Fridays? Temptations was $25, $7 a decent drink ($6.50 for two beers). The music was soo loud the only people I could hear without effort were the women exhibiting drama in the bathroom. Thank god I have fabulous friends to attend these events with. You know you are with good people when you end up dancing and laughing in an overpriced hallway with them.

And yes, it was the same venue as Bring Your Own Lesbian e.g. the reception area of a theatre. BYOL was as pricey but, as I mentioned in a previous post, I left soon after I arrived at Bring Your Own Lesbian so my perspective was no doubt clouded.

Then again, last night I enjoyed witnessing a gaggle of lycra wearing women dance about broken beer bottles and show off their g strings to each other. Anyway, if you are into slim just legal femmes, Temptations is the place for you. I'll be at the Main Hall...

Rachel ** (working on the criteria)

Where "it's" at

You all need to know about the Edgy Women's festival which is happening NOW until the 16th. In particular, you need to know that Dayna McLeod's oeuvre Hot Hot Gossip will be performed Friday March 14th at 7pm at Studio 303. Dayna is hilarious. The first time I met her, I pulled a sex toy out of her pierced beaver. She was performing in a beaver costume with a pierced ... beaver at a fundraiser in what was then Le Swimming. Anyway, Dayna, and the other mad performers made a lasting impression on my bud dykoon who insists she loves Montreal.

If partying rather than watching others perform is your thing ...
TEMPTATIONS PARTY
L’Olympia de Montréal
1004, rue Ste-Catherine Est
March 7, 2008 11 pm to 3 am
$25

or
Faggity Ass Fridays
(of course :)
10pm Main Hall
This week you can show up early for workshops and stick around after to get your groove on for sex education! Workshops start at 6 pm.
10$/PWYC for the workshops, awesome porn and lots of dancing
or
5$/PWYC for awesome porn and lots of dancing

Enjoy!
Rachel ***

Ah, beautiful

Oh what's love got to do with it?
What's love but a second hand emotion?
What's love got to do with it?
Who needs a heart
When a Heart can be broken?
-- Tina Turner

If you assumed that I have been too busy holed up with beautiful to write, you would be half right. I was blissfully entangled in beautiful's lovely limbs and sheets for the latter part of last month. But, ah sigh, what a shame I can't wrap my brain around sharing a lover as easily as I can wrap a scarf about a bed post and willing wrists.

I know, "sharing is caring". I have read the Ethical Slut, I even took notes. For some of my friends, open relationships are the only option. But at this state in my game, I know that I can't pull them off. I have tried many, many a time to open my mind and always produce the same result. Evil icy stabs of jealousy warp my good natured personality into a nagging, pouty bitch. Green just ain't my colour. So, very sadly, the married beautiful and I have had to part ways. Or at least, stop being lays.

Randomly, beautiful, after being sufficiently sad that we were ending our naked sessions, has been very understanding concerning my restrictive dating practices. So much so that she is setting me up on a blind date with a monogamy inclined ex lover of hers. Wonders never cease.

Rachel **

By the way, the Montreal Highlights Festival is on. Check this one out:
Passion: an evening of love stories and naughty tales.
Théâtre de l’Esquisse
1650, Marie-Anne Street E.
Donation ... $10