Call for Auditions

This is the initial call for auditions of the Lead Femme role in a dramatic comedy in which the star, me, has already been chosen. If you are interested in reading for the part, please meet me at the bar on the lower terrace. Kindly form an orderly line ...

Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could just hop up to the roof terrace at Le Drugstore after work on a Friday and make that announcement? There is always such a fine collection of yummy Montreal lesbians up there. Sadly for me, and for many of them, the women arrange themselves about tables with little to no mingling with others. Worse still, it is unfortunately hard to determine what is going on at these tables. Do they consist of single friends out on the pull or a complicated web of former and present lovers? Truth be told, a woman is more likely to be met by a series of blank stares than smiles when she finally crests the last of six flights to the top terrace. Assuming said woman receives any eye contact, that is. Zuts Alors!

When I visit Le Drug, as it is affectionately known, I usually end up sitting with my pals over a couple of pitchers before heading out for dinner in the Village. Of course, there is that initial limbo of finding them via a flurry of text messages - did I mention the lack of eye contact? - before the beer is poured. Invariably, all in all, a fun night. Lately, though, I am tiring of my coupled friends' smugness. Just because you are getting laid on a regular basis, or not getting laid on a regular basis, does not mean I need to hear your inane tips on how to pick someone up. Truly, it is as silly for those who are coupled to give advice on how to navigate the singles' scene as it is for the childless to give advice to parents. Please can it! I don't want to hear your clueless advice.

I have been single before, why do I feel the need to perform a thorough talent search now? Several reasons, I guess. It is getting cold up here in La Belle Province, the leaves are changing and, though, it is sunny today I know that soon the roof terrace will be piled high with snow. I prefer winters that involve snuggling with a lover in a cosy cabin over those that include standing in line feeling my ear lobes slowly freeze about my earrings. Also, can you hear that regular tick tock? I'm thirty five and my biological clock is getting so loud I am pricing egg freezing procedures. (To those curious, the cost is three pregnancies worth for about twelve thousand.) That is right, I'm feeling the pressure of both seasonal and biological restrictions. Great! Plus past heart breaks have taught me that though initially fun, long distance is not for me. Therefore, for my sanity and my wallet, this search is all about "location, location, location".

Perhaps my sad little tale has you wondering, "Le Drugstore can not be the only place to meet women? It isn't even an official lesbian bar!", and you would be right. There is more to the lesbian scene than the 5 a 7 I described above. Where it is and how to find it is what I am hoping to unravel for myself and describe to you in these humble posts.

So, all that to resoundingly say: I am currently auditioning local talent.

Rachel