Hee hee hee

Last night I went to Caligbi to see DeAnne Smith perform. She is hillarious! I had tears of laughter streaming down my face before she had even finished the sound check. There were also a number of lesbians and other queers there. An unofficial queer event, what a pleasant surprise. I will be checking out more of her shows to see if the clientele is similarily attractive to me :)

DeAnne Smith
http://www.deannesmith.com/

Rachel *** (working the unofficial angle)

Messy Meals

For the last few years I have hosted a Messy Meal on the Friday before Christmas. This messy meal, all the dishes contain ingredients that stain, is probably the last one without turkey for most of my friends until well after Christmas. I really enjoy hosting and love sending out the silly invites that remind everyone to wear black or nothing at all :). It is also a fabulous excuse to use my black table cloth and napkins.

Last night, I invited two lesbian couples and a close male friend to feast on: crantinis, salad (can be messing depending), octopus ink spaghetti, Hearty Beet and Monkfish Stew (my own creation, see recipe below), lamb with veg and potatoes (not really messy but my favorite), raspberry meringue tart, and espresso with chocolate truffles. Oh, and copious amounts of red wine and grappa.

Hearty Beet and Monkfish stew:
(serves 6)
2 large white onions
2 large beets
2 cups cranberry juice
6 fillets monkfish

Quarter onions, roughly chop up beets (can be messy, wear black :) and fish into bite size bits.
Place ingredients in a baking dish pour in juice and cover. Heat at 350 'C for 30 minutes or until beets are soft.

Now to attack those dishes and hit the shops.

Rachel

I was wrong!

There is a lesbian event on this weekend:

“Les Samedis Branchés”
Bar Le Cocktail 1669 Ste-Catherine E.
Saturday January 22 @ 11:00 pm

Performance at 12:30 sharp!

woot woot!

Identified

After my Nerf launching outburst at work yesterday, I was perturbed. Why was I so upset? How could a single song bother me so much? What was I thinking! Sure, there was nothing but dusty Nerf ball outlines on my office window to remind me of yesterday's frustrations. No one was hurt. No one was yelled at. Today no apologies had to be mumbled. And aren't I over love of my life ex? Surely I am ... Even if she isn't the caricature of annoyance that I have presented to you in this blog, there is a reason she is referred to as love of my life ex. However, for a number of reasons, that whole thing is ancient history. She snored for god sakes!

Ah well, today I am feeling more than happy and kinda "so be it" about that whole thing. I'm not sure if I can solely label one thing that has rendered me in the mood but I wonder, could it be that ...? no I won't say it. I don't want to blame all of my life's tense moments on the lunar orbit. Besides, I'm sure watching Shrek in French while imbibing a glass of pinot noir helped lift my mood, too. There is still a meter of snow outside but I'm enjoying it so much better, albeit from the comfort of my couch.

Rachel (nil - still not leaving the house unnecessarily!)

Sad songs they say so much

There is nothing more romantic than the unobtainable
- Doris Lessing

A colleague of mine came into my office today exclaiming, "You have to hear this song!" Like a fool I thought it would be something upbeat, ya know, a little disco to speed up my typing. Instead, she plugged in her iPod and brought up "The Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash. I sat listening to the slow paced lyrics that hit me like a ton of bricks while my pal buzzed about my office.

"Rachel, does this slinky work?" She tried it. It did. "How cool is that! Is that a real fish tank? Oh, it's a USB one." and other inane comments on my office toys until finally the song ended and she turned to me. "Great song, eh?" "Yeah. Brilliant." "There's another song Puncture Repair by Elbow which you should hear, too." Lady, I really, really want you and your depressing tunes out of my office! "Um, I have a report I need to finish. I'll listen to it later." She took the hint. "Okay, see you later," and she bounded out of my office, no doubt on her way to kill someone else's good mood with her depressing tunes.

I shut the door behind her and flung and caught my Nerf ball against the window chanting. "What," throw. "If!" catch. "What," throw. "If?" catch ...

I stopped when I felt better. Actually, I stopped after I threw the Nerf ball so hard it ricocheted off my desk and knocked over my recycling with the most satisfying crash. After that, I felt better.

Rachel (nil) - I really should create a profile on pink sofa...

Enough with the snow already!

Baby all I want for Christmas is...
You
-- Mariah Carey

Can you believe this weather? Yesterday was a bit of a wild storm, loads of snow, mad winds and lightning! The last I heard on the radio, a total of forty centimeters fell here yesterday. If I'm calculating properly, that means that over a meter of the white fluffy stuff has fallen since September. Winter only officially starts on December 21st. I can't believe that I raved with joy about the snow in a previous post.

Last night, after having recovered from mounting the two foot high snow drifts that blocked my doorway, I made the horrific discovery that I was emulating a lesbian stereotype. Yep, there I was brewing herbal tea in fluffy slippers and an old cardigan. Worse still, I had been thinking how nice it would be to have people over for a potluck. What's next, a slew of cats? They would keep me warm I suppose ... Whoa! What is going on? Wasn't I supposed to have a girlfriend to keep me warm by now? Time to put on my snow shoes and get out there!

Except ... where are all the events? Chouettes Coquettes, mimproductions, and Outspoken Montreal next events are all in January. No more potlucks is the only site that lists an event in December. Actually, Deanne Smith will be performing (see details below) so that is bound to be a blast but I digress. Is it really too late to go on a date with someone before Christmas? Time to hit the internet dating sites like Pink Sofa and Reseau Contact.

Deanne Smith - Smart Mouth
Cagibi 5490 St.Laurent
Thursday 27th December, 21:45

Rachel (nil) - It's too cold to go out!

No degrees of separation.

Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that, if a person is one "step" away from each person he or she knows and two "steps" away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is no more than six "steps" away from each person on Earth ...

--Wikipedia

A Nearly Naked Noel was the bomb! And Cafe Campus was the perfect venue for it. I had an absolute blast last night. Well, I had a blast once I had deftly slalomed to avoid lesbian drama and was safely on my second g & t.

I absolutely adore Miss Sugarpuss. Correction, I have a massive crush on the gorgeous green eyed Miss Sugarpuss. She is yummy! So, imagine my excitement when I managed to find a seat a mere two tables from the stage just in time to catch Miss Sugarpuss and Seska Lee kick off the show. Then, imagine my horror when, post their delightful strip and tassel twist, a quick survey of my surroundings revealed that I had inadvertently sat next to the tonsil hacking twins, a.k.a. love of my life ex and former mutual friend. Worse still, I could not place the woman sitting at the table with them until wonderful sat down next to her. Brief but awkward eye contact with wonderful ensued.

One of the endearing qualities of love of my life ex, who I still appreciate even if she is more often than not somehow physically attached to former mutual friend when I see her, is that she is the master of introductions. Unfortunately, she chose to shine again in this capacity last night in a small pause between acts.

"Rachel, how great to see you!"

"Hi! Nearly didn't see you there." My arms made a vague attempt to outline the beast with two heads she and former mutual friend had so recently formed.

"Oh!" she had the decency to blush, "Still so happy after a year." Smile. So, after a year with me there was no happiness? ... Move on Rache.

"Rachel, I want you to meet wonderful and her partner main squeeze. We met at a female ejaculation workshop last summer."

Last summer. Hm ... definitely getting the feeling that if wonderful has a blog, my nickname is bit on the side.

"How ... wonderful!" I looked up at the balcony and made a vague wave to a speaker before turning back to their table. "Well, really nice to meet you both but I just spotted my friend upstairs." Many smiles were then exchanged around the table which I quickly left for the bar. I bought two gin and tonics, walked them up to the balcony and secured a better view of the stage. Once seated again, I downed one g & t and savored the second during the rest of the show. I giggled discreetly throughout.

Rachel (nil) keepin' my pants on!

PS Check this event out tomorrow

Girls Gone Wild Party!

Friday, December 14, 2007 at 10:00 pm
1285 Amherst below St- Catherine

Demain

Something to definitely check out:

A NEARLY NAKED NOËL
an Xrated Xmas Xtravaganza

Date:	Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Time:	8:00pm - 10:30pm
Location:	Café Campus

See you there,
Rachel ***

Friggin' Snow!

Montreal was dumped on yesterday - 40 cm of the fluffy white stuff. I actually prefer mounds of snow to damp gray weather but not when the Outspoken monthly meeting gets cancelled. Ah well, the debut of Rachel 2.0 will have to wait until the new year. Zuts alors!