Naked Ladies

After being stood up yesterday afternoon, I felt the need to brave the again seasonal (read frigid!) weather and wander out amongst my people. What could fit the bill better than the The Coquettish Comedy Cabaret at La Sala Rossa as presented by V Day McGill?

Of course, being me, I was late and missed securing a decent seat before the curtains went up at 8:35. I decided to stand at the bar, sip a Jamie on the rocks, enjoy the show and scope out the crowd. Some of the acts were good, some were better and some excellent.

I was fully absorbed in the delightful Miss Sugarpuss', swoon, performance when a just audible voice inquired, "Rachel? Is that you?" It was certainly me but who would dare to disturb me during a Burlesque act? Could it have been anyone else other than the ever gorgeous?

"Hey, gorgeous? Nice to see you." Two cheek kiss. "What a pleasant surprise!" And it was. I hadn't seen gorgeous since, well, since she hadn't called me to thank me for taking her to the botanical gardens. F word, indeed.

"It has been awhile. I felt shy to call you after the last time we spoke." I quickly attempted to defuse what I sensed would be a litany of excuses. "No need to apologise. Really, I assumed you were busy," but she ignored my good will in order to launch into a complicated explanation regardless. As beautiful as gorgeous is, it was hard to prevent my eyes from straying back to the striptease during her sincere whispers until the following statement broke through to my consciousness, "... and that is how smooth-movin' and I got together." What?! So much for needing a break from romantic entanglements. Ah, the hypocrisy of deep like.

As if on queue, smooth-movin' appeared, with a hand quickly and possessively placed on gorgeous' waist, to wonder why gorgeous was taking so long with the drink orders. Minor bickering ensued following which I was asked to join them at their table near the front. Why not? Being more cautious of late, I did double check for wonderful's presence at said table before agreeing to lift my elbows from the bar.

Rachel **

P.S. Finally heard word of when and where the next meow mix will be happening:

Self Love (Meow Mix)

Saturday, February 9th
Sala Rossa
4848 St. Laurent
$10

No degrees of separation.

Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that, if a person is one "step" away from each person he or she knows and two "steps" away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is no more than six "steps" away from each person on Earth ...

--Wikipedia

A Nearly Naked Noel was the bomb! And Cafe Campus was the perfect venue for it. I had an absolute blast last night. Well, I had a blast once I had deftly slalomed to avoid lesbian drama and was safely on my second g & t.

I absolutely adore Miss Sugarpuss. Correction, I have a massive crush on the gorgeous green eyed Miss Sugarpuss. She is yummy! So, imagine my excitement when I managed to find a seat a mere two tables from the stage just in time to catch Miss Sugarpuss and Seska Lee kick off the show. Then, imagine my horror when, post their delightful strip and tassel twist, a quick survey of my surroundings revealed that I had inadvertently sat next to the tonsil hacking twins, a.k.a. love of my life ex and former mutual friend. Worse still, I could not place the woman sitting at the table with them until wonderful sat down next to her. Brief but awkward eye contact with wonderful ensued.

One of the endearing qualities of love of my life ex, who I still appreciate even if she is more often than not somehow physically attached to former mutual friend when I see her, is that she is the master of introductions. Unfortunately, she chose to shine again in this capacity last night in a small pause between acts.

"Rachel, how great to see you!"

"Hi! Nearly didn't see you there." My arms made a vague attempt to outline the beast with two heads she and former mutual friend had so recently formed.

"Oh!" she had the decency to blush, "Still so happy after a year." Smile. So, after a year with me there was no happiness? ... Move on Rache.

"Rachel, I want you to meet wonderful and her partner main squeeze. We met at a female ejaculation workshop last summer."

Last summer. Hm ... definitely getting the feeling that if wonderful has a blog, my nickname is bit on the side.

"How ... wonderful!" I looked up at the balcony and made a vague wave to a speaker before turning back to their table. "Well, really nice to meet you both but I just spotted my friend upstairs." Many smiles were then exchanged around the table which I quickly left for the bar. I bought two gin and tonics, walked them up to the balcony and secured a better view of the stage. Once seated again, I downed one g & t and savored the second during the rest of the show. I giggled discreetly throughout.

Rachel (nil) keepin' my pants on!

PS Check this event out tomorrow

Girls Gone Wild Party!

Friday, December 14, 2007 at 10:00 pm
1285 Amherst below St- Catherine

Deep Breath

So, I hope you were appreciating how classy I was being by not wondering at length in this blog as to where wonderful was and why she had not emailed me after last week's night - morning?- of passion despite insisting on my leaving contact details. For the record,that incident was absolutely what the doctor ordered. Myself being the doctor and the order being getting flipped on my back and taken care of in the most thorough way.

Anyway, I usually consider four days of no contact as clear indication that there may have been sparks but there will be no fire. However, after last night there is no need for me to wonder at all. I was tearing tickets for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee when I sensed someone starring at me. I turned to my right to find wonderful looking very much like a deer caught in my headlights holding another woman's hand. Fabulous woman that I am, I winked and shot her a broad grin before greeting the next movie goer.

Are they girlfriends? Are they in an open relationship? are they just beginning to date? Ya know what, I don't have time to wonder. Regardless of what is going on, I hadn't heard from her since our night of passion and still haven't, for that matter. Besides, I am the one auditioning local talent here. Someone who does not have the courtesy to contact me when they say they will is definitely off the call back list.

Rachel **

Ladies at Le Stud

Stud (animal) - a male animal employed for breeding
- Wikipedia

Last night, having wandered the length of the village looking for an open bar that wasn't hosting a Karaoke night, myself and the clutch of gay boys I was wandering with, entered our Wednesday night standby Bar Le Stud. Wednesdays are the only nights that women are allowed into Le Stud, a male meat market which kinda looks like a grungy cage aux sports except that the men on the large screens are bare backing instead of playing hockey. As per usual, the crowd was mainly male however a decent selection of women were at the pool tables and chatting at the bar.

Perhaps because I hadn't seen her in a few months, it took me awhile to recognize wonderful casually sipping a beer while watching two on screen bears going for it with the help of a large leather sling. I sidled up to her.

"Now what is a woman like you doing in a place like this?"
A grin took over her face before she spoke.
"Hey!" kiss, kiss, "How are you?"

We caught up and then engaged in light to medium conversation. It was lovely to be on the receiving end of her easy smiles. When Deelite came on, we decided to brave the dance floor. She looked so cute getting her groove on, I had to ask for a kiss. It was brilliant! We continued to dance, kiss and drink until "last call" was shouted out over the grinding masses. Ten minutes later the lights came up. Her arms were still around my waist.

"I live on Wolfe. Do you want to come over?"

Logic made me pause. It was past three. At what time would I have to leave the Village in order to get home, shower, change and be at work for nine? As I considered wonderful leaned forward and whispered in my ear.

"Je suis une top."
Yes! "Let's go."

Rachel *****

Being thankful

Not a few of you may be against celebrating Thanksgiving (I would add a link here but putting "thanksgiving genocide" into any search engine will give you plenty to read) but today was the day my family celebrated it. We had turkey, autumn vegetables and delicious pumpkin pie. We also had a new guest! One of my brothers brought his new girlfriend and there was no small amount of buzz prior to her arrival. When they finally arrived she did and said all the right things with my parents, brought them some wine, hung up her own coat, helped with the hors d'oeuvres, patted the dog etc. In general, she was very friendly, pleasant to everyone and appropriately dressed e.g. her breasts weren't hanging out of her top.

However, for some reason, this woman could not accept that I was single. What is the deal with coupled people and singles? Admittedly, this blog is about me auditioning local talent but being single is not the end of the world. In all honesty, I would rather be single than in a loveless partnership or otherwise settling for someone. I chose to ignore the few comments along the lines of, "I can't believe that you are single. You seem so intelligent." But then, when we sat down for dinner, she launched into match maker mode.

"Tell me, Rachel, what are you looking for? I know lots of Beaus!"
I shot my brother a quizzical look. He did not return my gaze. "Well, Amelie, I'm actually more into the Belles than the Beaus."
"Oh. Whatever makes you happy is fine with me."
I could have left it there, it being Thanksgiving and all, but her series of hetero-centric assumptions grated on me. So instead I added, "Actually, I hadn't been asking for your approval. I just wanted you to know what I was into before you embarrassed yourself further."

A cloak of silence, save for the clacking of cutlery and smacking of lips, fell upon the table. Amelie had the decency to blush. Finally, my step father asked if anyone would like more potatoes and conversation took over again. Later, as I was bringing plates into the kitchen before dessert, my mom grabbed my arm and quietly said to me. "You handled that well, dear." Which is part of what I feel thankful for right now. Being out to and accepted by my family.

The other thing I feel thankful for is my ingenuity. Last week, I went to one of Outspoken Montreal's Coffee Meetings at Le Cocktail. While I was there I met a wonderful woman but foolishly was too shy to ask for her contact details. A shyness I completely regretted the following day and especially after I realized that the next coffee meeting is on November sixth. This evening while on the metro home from Thanksgiving dinner, I had a eureka moment. Surely, the smooth-movin' lesbian who had also been talking to wonderful, would have at least become wonderful's facebook friend. Sure enough, when I got home and logged into facebook, I discovered that wonderful was indeed smooth-movin's facebook friend. I only felt mildly stalkerish as I sent wonderful a friend request. I was elated when I received her friend acceptance an hour later! May the games begin :)

Rachel ***

• Poaching Contacts ****