Pussy Party Pack

A recently posted safe sex interview at the nouveau*queer online magazine, has inspired me to put together a Pussy Party Pack to carry with me at all times. (It is Spring! :)

Pussy Party Pack contents :

• Nitrile gloves (6)
• Flavoured Condoms (6)
• sachets of water based lube (6)
• pair of sheathed scissors (for cutting gloves or condoms into dental dams)

And it all fits into my pink metal Hello Kitty pencil box from elementary school. See, somethings are worth hanging on to!

Play safe,
Rachel (*** inspired)

Spring has Sprung!

Spring has finally come and it is time for some Spring Cleaning. Longer days have bright sunshine revealing the dust bunnies well into the evening, the dustiness of the magazines on my floor and the nasty looking build up of grime in my bathtub. Time to tidy up and rid my place of its winter residue for both my comfort and to make an impression on any overnight guests. Likewise, a good time to replace some bras, acquire fresh panties and trim my bush down to a navigable length.

Lately, though, I've been thinking a bit about some other accumulated clutter I need to eliminate. Some misconceptions I need to discard from my body and brain. I am trying to release myself from traditional views on relationships. I know, I know, I've been telling every one and their mother that I am looking for someone to settle down and have babies with. And I am, really, still but um ... that was last autumn and now it is spring, a spring after a very long cold winter - is it over, it is snowing as I write this in April! - and everyone looks so tasty. Literally, the women look delicious. I carefully choose which distractions to sit near while I write in cafes as writing erotica at home, with my bed and vibrator nearby, is currently not an option. So I am out and about. Looking. Admiring. And thinking maybe that Spring is the time for fun and not for restricting myself to one.

But what are my options? I review my copy of The Ethical Slut and am thoroughly shocked with this statement on page 49 concerning woman on woman sex:

"Think of all the fun you can have with never a worry about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases!"

Yowsers! What an ignorant myth. Do women actually believe this? That because they are sleeping with other women they don't have to worry about safe sex? WHAT! Trust me fair readers, bacteria and viruses don't care what your gender or orientation is.

Rachel (* in shock)

Dead to me!

Hello there my dear friends,

For those of you who remembered that today is my birthday, a birthday that only comes round every four years, thank you for your well wishes and please navigate on to the next post...

For the forgetful rest of you, especially those who have had the pleasure of pleasuring me, this is just a quick note to let you know that you are dead to me. In this age of twitter, wall posts, text messages, emails, birthday alarm clock, telephones (remember them?) etc. etc. how could you forget? It only comes round once every FOUR years! Dead to me, sweetie, you are dead to me. Don't call. Nope. It's done.

Rachel :-P
PS I LOVE my birthday :)

This is the end, my only friend the end

Gentlemen and ladies are earnestly advised that new partners rarely wish to hear about old flames. Anything like bragging or wallowing should not be indulged in ...
-- Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette, for ladies and gentlemen

I am exhausted after a full week of evening shifts at image+nation. I absolutely loved being involved in the festival this year and am more than a little sad that tonight is the final screening. It certainly has been a wonderful opportunity to expand my queer network. Ironically, I have made more gay male friendships than queer women ones. I tried, honestly I did, but somehow my ventures into small to medium talk with women managed to get onto the ex track each time. For example:

"Hi, my name is Rachel. What is yours?"

Pleasant reply including first name and little smile.

"So, how long have you been volunteering at the festival?"

"This is my first year. Actually, I only signed up to (get over/ escape from/ annoy) my ex who is (somewhere with all my money/ still living in the place we bought together/ also a volunteer). She is a real (bitch/ cow/ lovely person) who (did me wrong/ did my sister/ caught me doing someone else) ... " and on and on until I was able to extract myself from their often very sad monologues. I still can't figure out if they were attempting to bond with me or get rid of me. Regardless, a word to the wise, whoa on the personal details people. Complaining about your exes ad nauseum makes you sound either like a cad or a loser. Neither of these options are attractive.

My picks from the festival:
Itty Bitty Titty Committee
This Kiss
She's a Boy I Knew
Shelter

Rachel ** (perhaps the boys can help me out)

Deep Breath

So, I hope you were appreciating how classy I was being by not wondering at length in this blog as to where wonderful was and why she had not emailed me after last week's night - morning?- of passion despite insisting on my leaving contact details. For the record,that incident was absolutely what the doctor ordered. Myself being the doctor and the order being getting flipped on my back and taken care of in the most thorough way.

Anyway, I usually consider four days of no contact as clear indication that there may have been sparks but there will be no fire. However, after last night there is no need for me to wonder at all. I was tearing tickets for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee when I sensed someone starring at me. I turned to my right to find wonderful looking very much like a deer caught in my headlights holding another woman's hand. Fabulous woman that I am, I winked and shot her a broad grin before greeting the next movie goer.

Are they girlfriends? Are they in an open relationship? are they just beginning to date? Ya know what, I don't have time to wonder. Regardless of what is going on, I hadn't heard from her since our night of passion and still haven't, for that matter. Besides, I am the one auditioning local talent here. Someone who does not have the courtesy to contact me when they say they will is definitely off the call back list.

Rachel **

No. Absolutely NOT.

As these things go, I have recently reconnected with a number of people from my sporty spice days via facebook. I was happy to reconnect with one woman who is so obviously out from her profile pic. We had always been good acquaintances/ team mates but never really hung out much outside of sports. To be honest, when I accepted her friend request it was more of a strategic, "Hmm, she's out. Maybe she has cute friends?" kinda move than an actual desire to meet up with her in person. So, imagine my surprise to find this wall post from her when I logged into facebook this morning:

Hey! Nice pics of you from two years ago. What happened? You're twice the woman you used to be. lol.

Yes, a wall post viewable to all my friends. I friggin' tasted blood. Absolutely 100% NOT what I wanted to wake up to this morning. I started to write on her wall

My body is the way I want it. And other people want it, too...

But reconsidered. Why write a defensive reply that will potentially linger in the internet's ether forever when I could easily acquire as much cyberspace as I needed? I cancelled out of her profile and returned to mine.

Delete post? Are you sure you want to Delete it?
Delete.

Remove Friend? Are you sure you want to remove this friend?
Remove.

Ah, so much better!
Rachel ***