My Lady Queer Google Maps

Hey!

I have created a few nifty Google Maps. I have embedded the one called Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal below. A list of all of my maps is available on the right and by clicking the maps tab in my google profile.

Enjoy!

Rachel O. Esplanade, forever at your service :)

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All by myself ...

When you choose to meet off-line, always tell a friend where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date’s name and telephone number with your friend. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time with many people around (a familiar restaurant or coffee shop is often a good choice)

-Match.com Safety Tip #8 Meet in a Safe Place

Today, I called wildernessnurse's bluff and she was a no show. To be honest, even as I left downtown to head to the Plateau, I doubted she would appear. I mean, things were a little weird in that last chat. She flashed me. Was this a real woman who had been in a sexy photo shoot or a man with keen flat bed scanning capabilities? Or, was it one of my brothers teaching me a lesson about Internet dating? The last option being the scariest!

After half an hour of reading and earning a decent caffeine buzz, I realised that wildernessnurse had blown me off in the non enjoyable way. Well, nothing like being stood up to clearly indicate that someone is just not that into you! I did have a lovely time reading my novel, though. It has been a while since I was in Chez Jose. I had forgotten how lovely and relaxed it is there. In fact, I had forgotten how much I enjoy sipping cafe lattes on Duluth. Also, Chez Jose seems to attract the kind of sexy clientèle I appreciate. Women in scarves, heavy sweaters, short skirts, tights and heavy boots. Yummy.

Internet dating has still to win me over but rediscovering tasty, bent lady hot spots has to be worth a few stars.

Rachel ***

Party ON!

Last night, Head and Hands hosted a party in the Main Hall (5390 St. Laurent - upstairs from the Green Room). I headed up to mile end with a group of hipster queers that I met after watching Shelter at the image+nation festival. It was really fun in a naughty way - spilt beer all over the dance floor and people, crappy sound system belting out the "Violent Femmes", ladies with their hands down each others pants grinding on the dance floor ... how I love Montreal! I certainly enjoy attending civilized Kitty Cat Klub 5 a 7's in the village but wow! it was nice to party it up with people who were not discussing their condo fees.

Head and Hands' next party at the Main Hall is happening on World AIDS Day (November 30) for more details visit http://www.headandhands.ca/.

Another sure to be interesting event on World AIDS day is taking place downtown from 5 until 10 pm, "Echos Séropos from here and elsewhere" magazine is also having a Fundraiser at Gorée (1240 Crescent Street). It is hosted by the completely fabulous DJ Kani.

Anyway, I am showered and off to volunteer at the Imperial. The Itty Bitty Titty Committee is playing tonight. I am hoping to catch it on my shift.

Rachel ***

Ladies at Le Stud

Stud (animal) - a male animal employed for breeding
- Wikipedia

Last night, having wandered the length of the village looking for an open bar that wasn't hosting a Karaoke night, myself and the clutch of gay boys I was wandering with, entered our Wednesday night standby Bar Le Stud. Wednesdays are the only nights that women are allowed into Le Stud, a male meat market which kinda looks like a grungy cage aux sports except that the men on the large screens are bare backing instead of playing hockey. As per usual, the crowd was mainly male however a decent selection of women were at the pool tables and chatting at the bar.

Perhaps because I hadn't seen her in a few months, it took me awhile to recognize wonderful casually sipping a beer while watching two on screen bears going for it with the help of a large leather sling. I sidled up to her.

"Now what is a woman like you doing in a place like this?"
A grin took over her face before she spoke.
"Hey!" kiss, kiss, "How are you?"

We caught up and then engaged in light to medium conversation. It was lovely to be on the receiving end of her easy smiles. When Deelite came on, we decided to brave the dance floor. She looked so cute getting her groove on, I had to ask for a kiss. It was brilliant! We continued to dance, kiss and drink until "last call" was shouted out over the grinding masses. Ten minutes later the lights came up. Her arms were still around my waist.

"I live on Wolfe. Do you want to come over?"

Logic made me pause. It was past three. At what time would I have to leave the Village in order to get home, shower, change and be at work for nine? As I considered wonderful leaned forward and whispered in my ear.

"Je suis une top."
Yes! "Let's go."

Rachel *****

Mullet Magnet

Sad but true, I am a mullet magnet. I'm not sure what it is about my demeanor that attracts them but lesbians with bad hair decisions like to dance in my personal space. How the mullet aka hockey hair has survived the lesbian chic revolution, I'm not sure. Unfortunately the mullet, like too tight acid wash jeans and suede jackets with a fringe, has persisted in the community. How heartbreaking for the owners of the hair salon in the Le Drugstore to see women who desperately need their help climb by every Friday. No wonder they close early.

If you are not sure what a mullet is, you may be at risk of wearing one. Basically, if your hair is above your ears in the front but touching your collar in the back, you are wearing a follicle faux pas. A warning to those of you with brush cuts or faux hawks, you are in grave danger of allowing these styles to grow into disaster. Do not risk these styles if you are unable to follow a regular hair styling schedule. Trust me, "growing your hair" is no excuse. In fact, there is no excuse for hockey hair. I don't care if you live under a rock.

Rachel **

Last night's results:

• Le Climb ***
• I did attract women to dance. They just had mullets :(
  
• Conversation with women of interest **
• Dancing ***
  
• Drinks offered *
  
• I was offered drinks but not by women of interest
  
• Pick ups (nil)
• New contacts **

Tonight!

I am actually quite excited about going to Mado's tonight. Cabaret Mado is the place where I have had the most success picking up women in Montreal. I know, it hardly makes any sense. Cabaret Mado is a drag queen cabaret, Mado being the self proclaimed Queen of Drag Queens. Or maybe it does make sense ... bi-curious fag hags pretending to be there for the show while really checking out the female talent in the crowd? Hmm ... maybe I should suggest a drag show at Le Drug.

One pick up in particular was stupendous. To this day, I have no idea how I managed to be so fortunate. I was standing with my back to the stage checking out this absolutely beautiful woman. She had an eighties look going on, large gold hoop earrings, black silky hair tied back in a tight pony tail, black crop top showing just the right amount of tanned tummy, tight dark blue jeans and tall heels. Yum! As I was taking her in, she turned her large amber eyes to me and caught me staring. Busted! She did not smile. In fact her look was so cold, I thought I would soon be wearing her drink. Then a smile teased at the corner of her mouth, she grabbed my hand, said, "You're cute.", and led me downstairs to the women's washrooms.

We entered a mosaic clad stall and made out. Our hands flowed everywhere - up, over, under - it was so HOT! It was actually really, really hot and definitely heading towards bras unsnapping and zips opening when someone flushed in the stall next to us. All of a sudden I became acutely aware of where we were, the flushes and other sounds, the toilet paper clinging to my shoe, the hard edge of the sanitary napkin disposal biting into the small of my back ... I hesitated and the moment was lost. We smiled and returned upstairs. I bought her a drink, got her number and that was it.

Okay, maybe that wasn't a pick up per se but it certainly was a saucy flirt. By the way, I did call her but she had met some guy bla bla bla.

So, um, not that I expect a similar thing to happen tonight but I will be wearing my brightest tie.

Rachel ***

Le Drug

Oh oh catch that buzz
Le Drug is the drug i´m thinking of
Oh oh can´t you see
Le Drug is the drug for me
--Roxy Music (tweaked)

It is yesterday afternoon. I am staring out my office window thinking "I really don't want to be here" when I happily get the call:

"Salut, Rachelle. Nous irons au Drug ce soir, peux tu venir?"
"Absolument, mon amie!"
"Parfait, à cinq heures."

Doesn't my name sounds so much sexier in French? Oh, Rachelle! yum.

I check the clock. 4:30. Why hang out until five staring out the window when I can start the weekend now and be nicely refreshed for Monday? The logic I live by. With my files saved to my key chain, desktop shut down and my office door locked, I head to the metro. The Peel street platform is crowded and there are no seats to be had on the train. Obviously, I am not the only one who has decided to kick the weekend off early. Ah! I love Montreal.

Exiting at Beaudry, I stop off at the Couche-Tard for some funds then cross Ste Catherine and head East. We always sit on the roof terrace in the summer and though it is October, it is also 25 degrees. I know the roof top is where my friends will be. How easy it will be to find them is another story but I have more important things to worry about. There are six flights of stairs I must mount properly. Eye contact may be at a minimum in Le Drugstore but trust me, you have eyes on you as your muscles flex up those stairs. Ass presentation at this time is essential to later success on the dance floor. I remove the jacket from about my waste, tuck in my tummy and climb. Fridays are always my "ass pant" days and today I am wearing short pants. I do not miss the opportunity to exhibit my calves as well by pushing off each step fully. If I could get away with it, I would climb two steps at a time. Hopping and jiggling is for descents.

Four flights up, I see the gorgeous woman from my lesbian dinner club waiting for the loo by the hair salon. I am out of breath from the effort of holding in my tummy and climbing. She doesn't see me so, thinking I could pass by and find her later when I can actually speak, I continue climbing.

"Rachel, is that you?" Zuts! I turn around. "Oh, hi," is my casually panting reply. "Wow! I almost didn't recognize you. Are you okay? You look pale." Pale? "I'm fine. Just meeting some friends ..." "Are you sure? You seem really out of breath. Maybe you should sit?" She indicates a bar stool.

Yes, offer me a seat but not in this context. "No, no, no. Please I'm fine. I rushed here from the metro. Where are you ..." A bathroom becomes free. She looks longingly at the open door, "Oh, I really have to pee. If you are okay ...?" "Really, I'm fine." Though, no doubt no longer pale, I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. I throw her a weak smile as she closes the tall orange door.

I climb, find my friends, uneventfully consume pitchers and then head across the street for some Vietnamese. Just after I pay my dinner bill, I feel a tingling at the edge of my mouth. Argh! Stupid deadlines, work stress and me for not eating enough fruit and having not gone to yoga this week. Double argh! My Zovirax cream is at the office. I feign fatigue, beg off dancing and cab it back to work. It is after eleven and my security pass no longer works. The security guard is friendly but no doubt curious as to why I woke him up for what appears to be a small tube of facial cream. Wide awake, I mentally tally the evenings successes and failures as I sign out on the security roster.

Using the Adventure Scale (see panel on right hand side) ...

• Le Climb **
• gorgeous noted I was out of breath but did not wonder if I had an injured leg :)
• Conversation with women of interest *
• Dancing (nil)
  
• Evil herpes virus! :-(
• Drinks offered to me by women of interest (nil)
• Drinks offered by me to women of interest (nil)
• Pick ups (nil)
• New contacts (nil)

Rachel **

Call for Auditions

This is the initial call for auditions of the Lead Femme role in a dramatic comedy in which the star, me, has already been chosen. If you are interested in reading for the part, please meet me at the bar on the lower terrace. Kindly form an orderly line ...

Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could just hop up to the roof terrace at Le Drugstore after work on a Friday and make that announcement? There is always such a fine collection of yummy Montreal lesbians up there. Sadly for me, and for many of them, the women arrange themselves about tables with little to no mingling with others. Worse still, it is unfortunately hard to determine what is going on at these tables. Do they consist of single friends out on the pull or a complicated web of former and present lovers? Truth be told, a woman is more likely to be met by a series of blank stares than smiles when she finally crests the last of six flights to the top terrace. Assuming said woman receives any eye contact, that is. Zuts Alors!

When I visit Le Drug, as it is affectionately known, I usually end up sitting with my pals over a couple of pitchers before heading out for dinner in the Village. Of course, there is that initial limbo of finding them via a flurry of text messages - did I mention the lack of eye contact? - before the beer is poured. Invariably, all in all, a fun night. Lately, though, I am tiring of my coupled friends' smugness. Just because you are getting laid on a regular basis, or not getting laid on a regular basis, does not mean I need to hear your inane tips on how to pick someone up. Truly, it is as silly for those who are coupled to give advice on how to navigate the singles' scene as it is for the childless to give advice to parents. Please can it! I don't want to hear your clueless advice.

I have been single before, why do I feel the need to perform a thorough talent search now? Several reasons, I guess. It is getting cold up here in La Belle Province, the leaves are changing and, though, it is sunny today I know that soon the roof terrace will be piled high with snow. I prefer winters that involve snuggling with a lover in a cosy cabin over those that include standing in line feeling my ear lobes slowly freeze about my earrings. Also, can you hear that regular tick tock? I'm thirty five and my biological clock is getting so loud I am pricing egg freezing procedures. (To those curious, the cost is three pregnancies worth for about twelve thousand.) That is right, I'm feeling the pressure of both seasonal and biological restrictions. Great! Plus past heart breaks have taught me that though initially fun, long distance is not for me. Therefore, for my sanity and my wallet, this search is all about "location, location, location".

Perhaps my sad little tale has you wondering, "Le Drugstore can not be the only place to meet women? It isn't even an official lesbian bar!", and you would be right. There is more to the lesbian scene than the 5 a 7 I described above. Where it is and how to find it is what I am hoping to unravel for myself and describe to you in these humble posts.

So, all that to resoundingly say: I am currently auditioning local talent.

Rachel

Where the bent ladies hang

You may not find the love of your life here but there will be some queer eye candy for you to savour while sipping a latte. Plus, the food is generally good too.

Le Cagibi
5490 St. Laurent
Montreal, QC
514.509.119
Vegetarian café/ bar which also hosts shows. Head down in your mismatched socks to write poetry and overhear the clientele's nocturnal misadventures.


Chez José
173 Duluth East
514-845-0693
Not really gay, not completely vegetarian. Fabulous weekend brunches.

Café Santropol
3990 St-Urbain at Duluth
514-842-3110
Massive sandwiches, fair trade coffee and vegetarian options. Pretty busy at lunch time on the weekends. Last time I was there, I counted 10 girl-on-girl couples in various states of drama. Beautiful summer terrace in the back.

Aux Vivres
4631 Saint-Laurent Blvd.
514-842-3479
A sit down restaurant that serves organic vegan food. The vegan brunch is to die for! A popular place and depending on the time of day you go, you may be encouraged not to linger over your book. Outdoor terrace in the summer.

Check out my google maps in the side bar for more queer/ queer friendly cafes, night clubs and bars.

Rachel (nil)