Queerish Event Guide

Hello my little friends,

This is just a wee note to let you know that my little event guide has sprouted wings and flown from the nest e.g. has left this blog for its very own. Its own little spot on the web is: http://queerisheventguide.com/ Apparently, the site is a work in progress so be nice!

To get your event on the calendar, you will need to read
How to Submit An Event

xoxo
Your humble servant and fellow party goer,
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Reality Check

Hey there!

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't tapped away at my blog in the last little while. I've been on a self imposed leave of absence since I started feeling that tingling sensation in my finger tips which every frequent and rapid touch typist fears, yep nothing like a repetitive strain injury of the wrists to dampen my extracurricular electronic writing. I mean, what lesbian wants to run the risk of permanently destroying the sensation in her hands e.g. her sex organs? Not I!

Have I stopped attending events? Will I stop updating this blog? NO! I am just on a wee blogging and column writing hiatus. Also, to alleviate the stress on my hands I have handed off the updating of the Queerish Event Guide that I built to a couple of friends. Don't worry, the calender's URL has not changed. If you signed up for calendar notifications, you will continue to receive them by email or mobile text.

Enjoying the weather despite the smog :-)

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
Queerish Event Guide

First day of class and I want some ...

EVERYONE is back to school today. Montreal's downtown core is hot, muggy and packed with lost looking undergrads. This years crop of baby dykes are soooo cute it took a conscious effort on my part to not join the veggie burger line snaking through the grass at the nearby back to school BBQ.

Back when I was an undergrad, and had long Farah Fawcette styled hair, I remember sitting in a circle of loosely acquainted frosh with our frosh leader, sunny, listening to every pearl of wisdom that parted her lips. I realise now that I had a major crush on sweet delicious sunny. My heart raced the first time I took in her short cropped hair, Birkenstocks and large reflective sunglasses. Of course, I had no idea why I wanted to be so close to her at the time, what that little shiver was when our hands brushed each other, why, when she slid off her sun glasses to level me with her sublime intense green eyes, I blushed, went for another beer and to sit with a boy across from her. Even more confusing to me, the next day, was why I made out with that guy later at Gert's when all I wanted to do was to put my elbows alongside sunny's at the bar. I was eighteen and she was twenty.

And so, remembering the clueless and confused me of eighteen, I decide to pass by the line of baby faced tattooed undergrads in their cut off jeans and asymmetrical hair cuts. "We are auditioning to find a package, not a project," I remind myself. Sure these women look out but they are still too young for me. I resolve to hold off on any attempts at academic pick ups until the Post-Graduate Students Society of McGill hold their queer month in October. I've even heard rumours that a drag show at Thomson House will be included in the festivities.

Hope to see you there.

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

ps Image copyright
Description: Charlie's Angels Season 2 DVD Cover Art.
Source: © 1976 Spelling-Goldberg Productions. All Rights Reserved

G.B. Jones in Montreal

The fabulous Toronto based queer artist G.B. Jones will be exhibiting her work at La Centrale from August 8th until September 7th. Just click on this link to see the hot hot images that will make you attend the exhibit.

Location: La Centrale 4296 St. Laurent Blvd.
Là-bas
G.B. JONES (Toronto, ON)
Exhibit: August 8th to September 7th 2008
Opening: Friday, August 8th, 7pm
Artist talk: Saturday, August 9th, 3pm

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Cruise Control has moved

Hey kiddos,

I'm posting this as the August Cruise Control should be taking place this Thursday. However, I have heard through the grape vine that due to issues with the regulars at Vinyl, Cruise Control has decided to move to Les PasSages which is located at 951 Rachel Est (corner of Mentana). I am not 100% sure if cruise control is happening this week, though. Anyway, if it is, have a look at this google map for location...


View Larger Map

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Pervers/ Cite

Hey there,

I just added as many Pervers/ Cite events that I could find out about to my events guide. These events look like loads of fun. Capture the Fag? Yes please!

Rachel
xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Ye olde network

Hey!

Yesterday, I went to the Pomme Pomme Fair at La Sala Rosa (I should seriously think about buying something closer to that venue - I have been there many many times over the last couple of weeks.) The performance space was transformed into a market consisting of a lovely little collection of cool crafts, hot zines, more than a few pins and tastey food including vegan truffles. Not queer per se, but fun and open and a great place to have found out about the following party in the Hen (St. Henri).

It's Raining Dykes Party, fête de lancement,
Date: Friday July 18 2008
Time: 8 pm to 3 am
Location: Ste. Emilie SkillShare (3942 Ste. Emilie)
Metro Place St. Henri

Rachel **

Knock Me Down, please!

A hot man in a sexy white and black dress, black leather high heeled boots MC ing hot women in fishnets racing around in order to knock each other and any beeramids in there way down while tattooed fans in neon cheered and hissed vociferously? Could it be anything but a Montreal Roller Derby hosted by Plastik Patrik?

If you were attempting to finish off your novel at the cagibi last night, I don't need to tell you that the Montreal Skidz on the Block beat Hamilton's Hammer City. That is unless you were wondering why so many neon clad people were congregated outside just after ten. Well, they were outside until someone stole a bottle of booze, took over the music and kicked off a shooter/ table top dancing party in the little cafe you had been looking for a muse in.

Rachel ***** (neon fishnets jam me all the way, baby!)

Next Roller Derby Bout
Season Championships
Location : Arena Saint-Louis (5633 St-Dominique)
Date: Saturday July 26
Doors: 7 pm
Bout: 7:30 ish

As listed in the
Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal Event Guide

Image details: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Beeramid.JPG

Wowzers!

I returned to the Sala Rosa last night, love that venue!, for the July Meow Mix featuring Animal Crackers Eccentric Dancers from New York City!.

The show was beyond anything I had seen before. Tits and ass barely covers it, if you don't mind my cunning punning. The absolute highlight was Miss Saturn's Hula hooping. A close second was her Private Dancer cover during which the bikini clad Miss Saturn stated "I don't shave" while lying down with legs akimbo center stage to prove said point.

The only thing that wasn't as superb as other Meow Mixes was the post show DJing. Sometimes it sounded like an iPod on Shuffle. Without the "fade into next song" setting activated.

Next Meow Mix
Date: Sunday August 3rd 2008
Location: La Sala Rosa (4848 St-Laurent, Montreal, QC)
Doors at 9:30, show at 10:30, DJ at 11:30
$10

Featuring ... Dead Doll Dancers, the Dukes of Drag and more!

As listed in the
Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal Event Guide

Rachel *** (I need a deep sleep)

Fun and Games

Last night the Montreal based Lickety Split Smut Zine launched it's sixth issue, The Risk Issue, at La Sala Rosa on St. Laurent Blvd. The party was a blast! The Dead Doll Dancers were there to stir things up with their Kama Sutra game and Penelope Percacet's hot solo, there were games e.g. Twister, strip poker, spin the bottle ... and delightful live music. Oh, and the photo booth where you could enjoy the company of a friend and get photographed while doing so.

So, um, the spin the bottle table was hot. At the begining of the night, even after the delicious Dead Doll Dancer Cammy Mudflaps and the dapper Ian Poe Kerr were seen to exchange a tongue or two, the table was easy to approach. However, by midnight the large group of wouldst be kissers anxiously waiting for the bottle to give them a turn slowly took over the left side of the room. Resistance really is futile, I guess, as Lickety Splitters enjoying the show from vantage points near the table were slowly absorbed into the kissing circle without a struggle. The Photo Booth was getting some direct traffic from the Spin the Bottle Table, as well. Very hot and lovely to see everyone getting along so salaciously.

Next Lickety Split zine theme ... unknown. Next Launch party ... sometime this fall. Keep an eye on their blog.

Will definitely be at the spin the bottle table next time, too.
Rachel ***

Absolutely So Much Fun!

Last night I went to the Slow Dance Night at The Academy Club (see my google map for exact location) and had a complete blast. The event is not queer per se but there were quite a few queer women there to ask to dance, if you could get up the guts to. I also danced with some straight women and guys. In fact, making sure that I did not spend the night dancing with men gave me enough incentive to not be a wall flower and fill out my dance card with the people I wanted to dance with.

The music was soft enough for conversation to flow and I met quite a few new, to me, and interesting queer women. Quite a few were performers, perhaps because this slow dance was part of the fringe festival. It was also neat to discover who could slow dance or not. One of my friends referred to it as speed dating with a beat. I'm not sure about that, though, I have not bothered to look for the woman who trod on my feet on facebook. I guess I could venture that I auditioned ten women that night. Of those ten, only one caught my eye. Lucky me, she is the friend of a friend of a friend. Oh I love how small this city is, sometimes.

Rachel *** (taking it slow ;)

Montreal Queerish Event Guide

I am absolutely adoring the summer. They are so many queer events on in Montreal I have created a Google Calendar. See it below or access it by clicking on this link The Queerish Events Guide
Enjoy!
Rachel

My Lady Queer Google Maps

Hey!

I have created a few nifty Google Maps. I have embedded the one called Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal below. A list of all of my maps is available on the right and by clicking the maps tab in my google profile.

Enjoy!

Rachel O. Esplanade, forever at your service :)

View Larger Map

Spring Summer SUN

It is so gorgeous and sunny in Montreal today! Thirteen degrees now and an expected twenty degrees this afternoon. It is not even ten in the morning and I already want to be on the roof terrace at Le Drugstore. After so much snow it is so wonderful to be able to go outside with out a jacket and soak up rays on my coffee break. By the way, my apologies for all my posts containing winter complaints but it really was too much then but who cares now le soleil est arrivé! :)

I am beyond horny. But everyone else seems to be, too. A guy winked at me on the metro after we caught each other checking out the same woman's ass. Oops! blush, giggle!

I really need to get laid.

Rachel

Tonight April 18
Faggity Ass Fridays
Main Hall, 5390 St-Laurent Blvd
Clothing Swap starts at 8 pm. Party at 10 pm.
$5++

Tomorrow April 19
Meow Mix, Fundraiser for Project 10
Sala Rossa, 4848 St-Laurent
Doors at 9:30
Spectacle - 10:30
DJs at 11:30 (2 teams from Cruise Controle)
$10

Cruise controlled

Sometimes I like to go out and play with the cool kids at Cruise Control. Apparently, this party has been happening on the first Thursday of the month for over a year. Hilariously, last night I overheard that cruise control "used to be so much better" as a few cruisers bemoaned the "Queer McGill" invasion. Queer McGill? Oh dear, how completely ridiculous for me to be in a room with so many asymmetrical hair cuts and mismatched socks. And the young owners of said ... well, they could actually be my kids if my reproductive organs hadn't happily remained unfertilized during my misbehaving younger years.

I've heard all those complaints about "kids today", where are we at now Generation Z?, but I find that at these younger nights, e.g. Cruise Control and Faggity Ass Fridays, people tend to be polite, friendly and fun. So, does it matter that I'm more than a decade older than most of them? Does it matter that they include fancy terms like "gender presentation" when complimenting my ties? At least they are up dancing. Anyway, maybe I'd feel a bit odd picking up a 19 year old but I figure that in a decade or so I would definitely be well too old for that. Besides I'm there to party not to find a life partner.

Tonight, however, is a different story. It is one degree, the snow is falling in moist wet flakes and I've got my swim suit in my bag ready for the village tonight. Nope, the Sky Complex's roof terrace jacuzzi is not open, I've been invited to a sauna party. Enough said.

Play safe!
Rachel

Cruise Control's clever facebook profile/ "market-cha-ching":

vinyl
2109 de bleury (coin sherbrooke)
NO COVER

Queer Dance Party and we mean it.
Bring everyone you know and then bring
the people you don't know, as long as
they know that:

Cruising Is Serious Business

Cruise. Dance. Drink.

Tempted, NOT!

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you
-- George Michael, Careless Whisper

Argh! Why did I foolishly stray from Faggity Ass Fridays? Temptations was $25, $7 a decent drink ($6.50 for two beers). The music was soo loud the only people I could hear without effort were the women exhibiting drama in the bathroom. Thank god I have fabulous friends to attend these events with. You know you are with good people when you end up dancing and laughing in an overpriced hallway with them.

And yes, it was the same venue as Bring Your Own Lesbian e.g. the reception area of a theatre. BYOL was as pricey but, as I mentioned in a previous post, I left soon after I arrived at Bring Your Own Lesbian so my perspective was no doubt clouded.

Then again, last night I enjoyed witnessing a gaggle of lycra wearing women dance about broken beer bottles and show off their g strings to each other. Anyway, if you are into slim just legal femmes, Temptations is the place for you. I'll be at the Main Hall...

Rachel ** (working on the criteria)

Where "it's" at

You all need to know about the Edgy Women's festival which is happening NOW until the 16th. In particular, you need to know that Dayna McLeod's oeuvre Hot Hot Gossip will be performed Friday March 14th at 7pm at Studio 303. Dayna is hilarious. The first time I met her, I pulled a sex toy out of her pierced beaver. She was performing in a beaver costume with a pierced ... beaver at a fundraiser in what was then Le Swimming. Anyway, Dayna, and the other mad performers made a lasting impression on my bud dykoon who insists she loves Montreal.

If partying rather than watching others perform is your thing ...
TEMPTATIONS PARTY
L’Olympia de Montréal
1004, rue Ste-Catherine Est
March 7, 2008 11 pm to 3 am
$25

or
Faggity Ass Fridays
(of course :)
10pm Main Hall
This week you can show up early for workshops and stick around after to get your groove on for sex education! Workshops start at 6 pm.
10$/PWYC for the workshops, awesome porn and lots of dancing
or
5$/PWYC for awesome porn and lots of dancing

Enjoy!
Rachel ***

You've got my number

Two nights ago I went to the Bring Your Own Lesbian party. This is the second year that the event has been held and I hope that they do it again next year because I was not actually there for a very long time. Mind you, the amount of time required for me to leave with what I wanted is perhaps more indicative of how fabulously I enjoyed myself there.

What was interesting was the variation on a game I used to play at the Fetish Cafe back when they hosted Polyvalente nights. Each guest was given a sticker with a number to be placed in a visible spot. If you spotted a "number" that you liked, a message could be sent to them by dropping a note off at a silver tray held by a classily dressed women. Upon receiving a note, a heart containing your number would pulsate on a large screen and you could pick it up from the post mistress.

Imagine my surprise to see my number flash on the screen before I'd had a chance to have a proper look around. I swung by the post office on my way to the bar. After ordering a g & t, I read the message.

"Remember me? <} #247"

Hmmm ... my coupled friends and I were intrigued. Could the author be a past fling, jilted lover or one of my buds playing a trick? Casually, I scanned the crowd for little miss everywhere but to no avail. Encouraged by my pals, I decided to take a wee tour in search of #247. It didn't take long. I turned from the bar and headed to the balcony stairs in hopes that the balcony would provide a better vantage point. On my way up, a hand touched my arm.

"Hi."

Hello! Amber eyes, thick black hair cropped short, copper skin, beautiful smile. I mustered some calm. "Hi there," I checked her chest, "number 247." An awkward pause followed.

She smiled mischievously. "You don't remember me, do you?"

I emphatically replied, "Please refresh my memory."

She informed me of her given name and reminded me of our time spent in the ladies washroom at Cabaret Mado. Wow! Beautiful remained as hot as ever but had certainly ratched up the dyke o meter since our first encounter. This new look suited her to a tee. Tight black jeans, black vest over black shirt exploding with curves, white tie with matching suspenders and a small diamond stud in her left ear. Was that male cologne? Hot!

The sequence of events are a bit blurry now but we left immediately and grabbed a cab to mine. What I do clearly remember is that her perfectly manicured hands were opening up her lips before her panties hit the floor.

Rachel *****

Self Love

Last night's "Self Love Meow Mix" hosted by Dukes of Drag was packed to the rafters with hot women and John Cussack (random, but seriously he was there). By all accounts Dukes of Drag, formerly known as King Size Montreal, performed their best show and the post show music spun by DJ Marie-H.B was awesome! People were dancing right up until the lights glared on at 3 am.

At a break from dancing like it was 1999, I spotted a very sexy woman at the bar. This lovely had eyes the colour of the Mediterranean Sea, light green speckled with gold. A cute tweedy cap perched atop her onyx locks, which tumbled in loose curls to her shoulders. The dark colour of her hair lay in sweet contrast to the paleness of her complexion, accenting high cheekbones, the cutest little nose and her full red lips. Beautiful. What a shame that after some light conversation, I invited her to an event the following Thursday.
"I can't go out during the week."
"That's too bad." Feigning nonchalance I inquired, "Do you have to get up early for work?"
"Well, it's more that I, like, work with retards."
Please not the "R" word! Inwardly cringing but secretly hoping she was referring to some office mates I asked, "Oh, can they tell if you have had a late night at the water cooler?"
"No, silly, I really work with retards. Once when I was hung-over I lost one of them!"
Hmmm… sleeping with someone capable of losing one of her intellectually-challenged charges? I wasn't going there. I guess that makes it 34,000 minus one. I suppose I should keep a running tab somewhere on this page.

Rachel (* - some things are best left unsaid :)

More whoop dee do

If you decided to stay in last night instead of attending DeAnne Smith's Stand up/ Strip Down at Theatre Ste. Catherine, you missed out on a fabulous queer night out. Smith hosted and headlined her own benefit show. Proceeds of which will pay for her trip to Australia where she will perform in the Adelaide and Sydney comedy festivals. The predominately queer crowd was treated to "ha ha's and ta ta's" including the tantalizing pelvic gyrations of Rod Screwheart and the messy near naked grape eating of Seska Lee.

Some women in the crowd were particularly hot. In fact, depending on your personal ideal of queer female hotness, there was enough eye candy there last night to fit most bills e.g. slender femmes, love handled tomboys, baby faced butches and slim tie wearing androgynous wonders. If your genderqueer attractions are not limited to those who identify as female, there was a fine selection of trannie bois to similarily titilate.

Tonight and every Friday!
Faggity Ass Fridays
Main Hall
5390 St-Laurent
11 pm
by donation (proceeds go to Head in Hands.)