How are you?

Hello my pals and party goers, How are you? I'm doing pretty darn good. My auditions resulted in finding a true heart to spend some quality time with. And, bonus, we still leave the house to go to shows. Yes, former mutual friend and love of my life ex are still together and still saccharine sweet. Daddy blue is going to be a daddy - a real one with a live baby. xoxo Rachel O. Esplanade

Queerish Event Guide

Hello my little friends,

This is just a wee note to let you know that my little event guide has sprouted wings and flown from the nest e.g. has left this blog for its very own. Its own little spot on the web is: http://queerisheventguide.com/ Apparently, the site is a work in progress so be nice!

To get your event on the calendar, you will need to read
How to Submit An Event

xoxo
Your humble servant and fellow party goer,
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Reality Check

Hey there!

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't tapped away at my blog in the last little while. I've been on a self imposed leave of absence since I started feeling that tingling sensation in my finger tips which every frequent and rapid touch typist fears, yep nothing like a repetitive strain injury of the wrists to dampen my extracurricular electronic writing. I mean, what lesbian wants to run the risk of permanently destroying the sensation in her hands e.g. her sex organs? Not I!

Have I stopped attending events? Will I stop updating this blog? NO! I am just on a wee blogging and column writing hiatus. Also, to alleviate the stress on my hands I have handed off the updating of the Queerish Event Guide that I built to a couple of friends. Don't worry, the calender's URL has not changed. If you signed up for calendar notifications, you will continue to receive them by email or mobile text.

Enjoying the weather despite the smog :-)

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
Queerish Event Guide

First day of class and I want some ...

EVERYONE is back to school today. Montreal's downtown core is hot, muggy and packed with lost looking undergrads. This years crop of baby dykes are soooo cute it took a conscious effort on my part to not join the veggie burger line snaking through the grass at the nearby back to school BBQ.

Back when I was an undergrad, and had long Farah Fawcette styled hair, I remember sitting in a circle of loosely acquainted frosh with our frosh leader, sunny, listening to every pearl of wisdom that parted her lips. I realise now that I had a major crush on sweet delicious sunny. My heart raced the first time I took in her short cropped hair, Birkenstocks and large reflective sunglasses. Of course, I had no idea why I wanted to be so close to her at the time, what that little shiver was when our hands brushed each other, why, when she slid off her sun glasses to level me with her sublime intense green eyes, I blushed, went for another beer and to sit with a boy across from her. Even more confusing to me, the next day, was why I made out with that guy later at Gert's when all I wanted to do was to put my elbows alongside sunny's at the bar. I was eighteen and she was twenty.

And so, remembering the clueless and confused me of eighteen, I decide to pass by the line of baby faced tattooed undergrads in their cut off jeans and asymmetrical hair cuts. "We are auditioning to find a package, not a project," I remind myself. Sure these women look out but they are still too young for me. I resolve to hold off on any attempts at academic pick ups until the Post-Graduate Students Society of McGill hold their queer month in October. I've even heard rumours that a drag show at Thomson House will be included in the festivities.

Hope to see you there.

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

ps Image copyright
Description: Charlie's Angels Season 2 DVD Cover Art.
Source: © 1976 Spelling-Goldberg Productions. All Rights Reserved

Pass the Pussy, Please: Honey Rider

Good morning loyal fans, lol!


My latest column has been posted on that lovely little online smut magazine Black Heart Magazine.

By Rachel O. Esplanade

"Until you lose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is." - Margaret Mitchell ("Author of Gone With the Wind")

Recently, a friend asked me how she could maintain her "good" reputation. I wonder what that is like to want people to believe that you are "good"? In truth, I wonder even what a "good reputation" means. Does it mean that you only form monogamous ties? That you only sleep with people because you love them? Does "good" imply that you are "life partner" material? I know, I am looking for a life partner and at last check I still want one. However, I must admit that I seek a life partner with a rascally past. Ya know, some experience, already clued in to safe sex and with a few kinky ideas of their own to explore... their own handcuffs.

My buddy Dykoon advised me once to become the woman I wanted to date. For me that would be someone outgoing and suave who is also accomplished in their work, their dreams and their ability to express themselves sexually. In fact, for the last few years I have been trying to create a certain type of "good" reputation. That of an experienced lover who does not spill the beans. A kind of tame able player. I highly agree with the "Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen" that by being a well behaved lady on the streets, I can then be a beast in the sheets.

This past July, I experienced my first full evening of slow dancing at the Slow Dance Night Fringe which took place as part of the St. Ambroise Fringe Festival at the Academy Club. The entire evening was an exercise in etiquette. How does one refuse interested gentlemen politely? and more importantly, accept being refused? With grace, of course! I discovered that it was important to maintain a pleasant stream of polite conversation while wrapping my arms around someone whom I just met's torso as Barry White crooned in the back ground. Most people are happy to discuss themselves and their lives. While dancing I met a science fiction writer, a bike mechanic, a dead doll dancer, a smut zine editor and a couple of drag kings. Sadly, though, no sparks romantic or otherwise. Ah well, maybe I'll have better luck at the next slow dance this October.

As for the rest of my summer, it was delightful. All those rainy days left plenty of room for playful lie ins. Sadly, though, my little daddy blue has returned to his parents' PEI basement for the semester and I have returned to the Internet dating fold. My forays on plentyoffish and craigslist have had such predictable outcomes I will not repeat them here. I have replenished my pussy party pack and am ready to hit the streets ... and hopefully a few sheets ;) But where shall I wander? Outspoken is on hiatus until the winter, and both the launch party for Lickety Split #7 and the autumn Meow Mix have no set dates. Some good news is that queer comic, and host to a number of queerish events, DeAnne Smith is back from Australia. In fact my research has discovered there are quite a few queerish events coming up in Montreal. As a result, I have taken the time to compile them into a public google calendar entitled "Montreal Queerish Event Guide". Anyone can view it but those of you with gmail accounts may also subscribe to text message alerts from it.

See you out there,
Rachel

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

G.B. Jones in Montreal

The fabulous Toronto based queer artist G.B. Jones will be exhibiting her work at La Centrale from August 8th until September 7th. Just click on this link to see the hot hot images that will make you attend the exhibit.

Location: La Centrale 4296 St. Laurent Blvd.
Là-bas
G.B. JONES (Toronto, ON)
Exhibit: August 8th to September 7th 2008
Opening: Friday, August 8th, 7pm
Artist talk: Saturday, August 9th, 3pm

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Cruise Control has moved

Hey kiddos,

I'm posting this as the August Cruise Control should be taking place this Thursday. However, I have heard through the grape vine that due to issues with the regulars at Vinyl, Cruise Control has decided to move to Les PasSages which is located at 951 Rachel Est (corner of Mentana). I am not 100% sure if cruise control is happening this week, though. Anyway, if it is, have a look at this google map for location...


View Larger Map

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

w4w is 4w, not couples!

Remember slowlovin? I replied to her ad about a week ago? Well, we had a few more exchanges then a small period of radio silence. Imagine my surprise when I received this from her today...

Things have changed a bit for me. I am now part of a new couple actively seeking a submissive bi-sexual female to unite in a poly household. We are not looking for casual sex partners, we are serious about finding someone to build a long-term relationship with...

Stranger than fiction.
Rachel -* thinking that CL really is best used to sell furniture.
xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Pervers/ Cite

Hey there,

I just added as many Pervers/ Cite events that I could find out about to my events guide. These events look like loads of fun. Capture the Fag? Yes please!

Rachel
xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

w4w

Hmmm ... I was honestly looking to sell some furniture when I stumbled into the women seeking women section of craigslist. Funny how the mind and fingers wander sometimes. Anyway, I saw this ad:

Hey women for women,

I am looking to meet a cool woman to hang out with. Acknowledge the spark but take it chill at the beginning then. Slowly build into a relationship. I like to take things long and languid ;-*

I'm not into threesomes or whatever but good luck to those who are. Just don't message me, please.

Thanks!
slowlovin

And responded ...

I saw your ad on craigslist and you sound like my cup of tea. I am a 36 year old lesbian from Montreal ...

you know the rest :)

Rachel


xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide

Ye olde network

Hey!

Yesterday, I went to the Pomme Pomme Fair at La Sala Rosa (I should seriously think about buying something closer to that venue - I have been there many many times over the last couple of weeks.) The performance space was transformed into a market consisting of a lovely little collection of cool crafts, hot zines, more than a few pins and tastey food including vegan truffles. Not queer per se, but fun and open and a great place to have found out about the following party in the Hen (St. Henri).

It's Raining Dykes Party, fête de lancement,
Date: Friday July 18 2008
Time: 8 pm to 3 am
Location: Ste. Emilie SkillShare (3942 Ste. Emilie)
Metro Place St. Henri

Rachel **

Knock Me Down, please!

A hot man in a sexy white and black dress, black leather high heeled boots MC ing hot women in fishnets racing around in order to knock each other and any beeramids in there way down while tattooed fans in neon cheered and hissed vociferously? Could it be anything but a Montreal Roller Derby hosted by Plastik Patrik?

If you were attempting to finish off your novel at the cagibi last night, I don't need to tell you that the Montreal Skidz on the Block beat Hamilton's Hammer City. That is unless you were wondering why so many neon clad people were congregated outside just after ten. Well, they were outside until someone stole a bottle of booze, took over the music and kicked off a shooter/ table top dancing party in the little cafe you had been looking for a muse in.

Rachel ***** (neon fishnets jam me all the way, baby!)

Next Roller Derby Bout
Season Championships
Location : Arena Saint-Louis (5633 St-Dominique)
Date: Saturday July 26
Doors: 7 pm
Bout: 7:30 ish

As listed in the
Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal Event Guide

Image details: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Beeramid.JPG

in the shallows

So ... what do you do when the online someone you have been exchanging increasingly intimate emails then chats with finally sends you their photo and the photo is not great. In fact, the photo is so not flattering it illicits a, "That is their best photo?" response. Is it appropriate to already be planning someone's makeover before the first face to face physical date? Probably not. However, I do feel that it would be completely shallow of me to all of a sudden break off contact and current date plans.

Maybe I can hang onto the hope that she sends a bad photo of herself to weed out the shallow people from her online potentials? Either way, I'm going in. Cover me!

Rachel *

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal Event Guide

Wowzers!

I returned to the Sala Rosa last night, love that venue!, for the July Meow Mix featuring Animal Crackers Eccentric Dancers from New York City!.

The show was beyond anything I had seen before. Tits and ass barely covers it, if you don't mind my cunning punning. The absolute highlight was Miss Saturn's Hula hooping. A close second was her Private Dancer cover during which the bikini clad Miss Saturn stated "I don't shave" while lying down with legs akimbo center stage to prove said point.

The only thing that wasn't as superb as other Meow Mixes was the post show DJing. Sometimes it sounded like an iPod on Shuffle. Without the "fade into next song" setting activated.

Next Meow Mix
Date: Sunday August 3rd 2008
Location: La Sala Rosa (4848 St-Laurent, Montreal, QC)
Doors at 9:30, show at 10:30, DJ at 11:30
$10

Featuring ... Dead Doll Dancers, the Dukes of Drag and more!

As listed in the
Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal Event Guide

Rachel *** (I need a deep sleep)

Fun and Games

Last night the Montreal based Lickety Split Smut Zine launched it's sixth issue, The Risk Issue, at La Sala Rosa on St. Laurent Blvd. The party was a blast! The Dead Doll Dancers were there to stir things up with their Kama Sutra game and Penelope Percacet's hot solo, there were games e.g. Twister, strip poker, spin the bottle ... and delightful live music. Oh, and the photo booth where you could enjoy the company of a friend and get photographed while doing so.

So, um, the spin the bottle table was hot. At the begining of the night, even after the delicious Dead Doll Dancer Cammy Mudflaps and the dapper Ian Poe Kerr were seen to exchange a tongue or two, the table was easy to approach. However, by midnight the large group of wouldst be kissers anxiously waiting for the bottle to give them a turn slowly took over the left side of the room. Resistance really is futile, I guess, as Lickety Splitters enjoying the show from vantage points near the table were slowly absorbed into the kissing circle without a struggle. The Photo Booth was getting some direct traffic from the Spin the Bottle Table, as well. Very hot and lovely to see everyone getting along so salaciously.

Next Lickety Split zine theme ... unknown. Next Launch party ... sometime this fall. Keep an eye on their blog.

Will definitely be at the spin the bottle table next time, too.
Rachel ***

Absolutely So Much Fun!

Last night I went to the Slow Dance Night at The Academy Club (see my google map for exact location) and had a complete blast. The event is not queer per se but there were quite a few queer women there to ask to dance, if you could get up the guts to. I also danced with some straight women and guys. In fact, making sure that I did not spend the night dancing with men gave me enough incentive to not be a wall flower and fill out my dance card with the people I wanted to dance with.

The music was soft enough for conversation to flow and I met quite a few new, to me, and interesting queer women. Quite a few were performers, perhaps because this slow dance was part of the fringe festival. It was also neat to discover who could slow dance or not. One of my friends referred to it as speed dating with a beat. I'm not sure about that, though, I have not bothered to look for the woman who trod on my feet on facebook. I guess I could venture that I auditioned ten women that night. Of those ten, only one caught my eye. Lucky me, she is the friend of a friend of a friend. Oh I love how small this city is, sometimes.

Rachel *** (taking it slow ;)

Montreal Queerish Event Guide

I am absolutely adoring the summer. They are so many queer events on in Montreal I have created a Google Calendar. See it below or access it by clicking on this link The Queerish Events Guide
Enjoy!
Rachel

My Lady Queer Google Maps

Hey!

I have created a few nifty Google Maps. I have embedded the one called Rachel's Lady Queer Montreal below. A list of all of my maps is available on the right and by clicking the maps tab in my google profile.

Enjoy!

Rachel O. Esplanade, forever at your service :)

View Larger Map

U Haul Alert

A good pal recently emailed me to let me know that she and the love of her life of three months are moving in together. This is not a surprise considering that:

1. Her smiling little face has not appeared on the roof terrace of Le Drugstore since the snow melted.
2. Our one-on-one Sunday brunches have become one-on-twos. (or two-on-twos when daddy blue tags along)
3. They are lesbians.

What is more surprising is that she sent me the following message no more than a week before she found her U Haul love.

My pals are always trying to set me up. What is this obsession that everyone must be in a couple? I guess they feel guilty complaining about their lovers if I'm single and, therefore, have no similar complaints :)

Ah well, if Spring isn't the season for reckless love and u haul abandon, which season is?

Rachel ***** (getting it ;)

shed 2

It has been almost two weeks since I began working out at the Y on a regular basis. And, yes, my crush on gym king will have me continue three times a week for awhile. However, today at lunch in the women's sauna I couldn't help but overhear two women with rippling shoulder muscles describe their intense workouts and equally intense crushes on their water polo coach. So instead of humiliating myself from under a bar bell I could have drowned while attempting to impress a hot coach at Contre Courant? Hmmm... barbell doesn't sound so bad after all. Water polo can wait a season.

Rachel ** (still turn red whenever I see the gym king :(