Pass the Pussy, Please: Honey Rider

Good morning loyal fans, lol!


My latest column has been posted on that lovely little online smut magazine Black Heart Magazine.

By Rachel O. Esplanade

"Until you lose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is." - Margaret Mitchell ("Author of Gone With the Wind")

Recently, a friend asked me how she could maintain her "good" reputation. I wonder what that is like to want people to believe that you are "good"? In truth, I wonder even what a "good reputation" means. Does it mean that you only form monogamous ties? That you only sleep with people because you love them? Does "good" imply that you are "life partner" material? I know, I am looking for a life partner and at last check I still want one. However, I must admit that I seek a life partner with a rascally past. Ya know, some experience, already clued in to safe sex and with a few kinky ideas of their own to explore... their own handcuffs.

My buddy Dykoon advised me once to become the woman I wanted to date. For me that would be someone outgoing and suave who is also accomplished in their work, their dreams and their ability to express themselves sexually. In fact, for the last few years I have been trying to create a certain type of "good" reputation. That of an experienced lover who does not spill the beans. A kind of tame able player. I highly agree with the "Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen" that by being a well behaved lady on the streets, I can then be a beast in the sheets.

This past July, I experienced my first full evening of slow dancing at the Slow Dance Night Fringe which took place as part of the St. Ambroise Fringe Festival at the Academy Club. The entire evening was an exercise in etiquette. How does one refuse interested gentlemen politely? and more importantly, accept being refused? With grace, of course! I discovered that it was important to maintain a pleasant stream of polite conversation while wrapping my arms around someone whom I just met's torso as Barry White crooned in the back ground. Most people are happy to discuss themselves and their lives. While dancing I met a science fiction writer, a bike mechanic, a dead doll dancer, a smut zine editor and a couple of drag kings. Sadly, though, no sparks romantic or otherwise. Ah well, maybe I'll have better luck at the next slow dance this October.

As for the rest of my summer, it was delightful. All those rainy days left plenty of room for playful lie ins. Sadly, though, my little daddy blue has returned to his parents' PEI basement for the semester and I have returned to the Internet dating fold. My forays on plentyoffish and craigslist have had such predictable outcomes I will not repeat them here. I have replenished my pussy party pack and am ready to hit the streets ... and hopefully a few sheets ;) But where shall I wander? Outspoken is on hiatus until the winter, and both the launch party for Lickety Split #7 and the autumn Meow Mix have no set dates. Some good news is that queer comic, and host to a number of queerish events, DeAnne Smith is back from Australia. In fact my research has discovered there are quite a few queerish events coming up in Montreal. As a result, I have taken the time to compile them into a public google calendar entitled "Montreal Queerish Event Guide". Anyone can view it but those of you with gmail accounts may also subscribe to text message alerts from it.

See you out there,
Rachel

xoxo
Rachel O. Esplanade
The Queerish Event Guide